Home Sweet Home

(Mei Lin on her way home!)
**DISCLAIMER: Whew, this is long, but this is my way of remembering things I know I'll soon forget. I haven't journaled throughout this trip except what I've written here, so bare with me while I ramble for posterity's sake...

There really is no place like home....one's own bed, more than 100 square feet of living space, a refrigerator full of one's own food, potable running water, a dishwasher, a washer and dryer, sitting around in one's pajamas all day...ahh...THIS is home.

And after a terrible day of air travel, home was never more appreciated.

Thursday morning, departure day from China, we were to have our packed luggage outside our hotel room door at 4:45 AM for the bellboy. Then we were to meet downstairs at 5:30 AM to take the bus to the airport. Apparently with all the changes in schedules (with the US Consulate issuing Mei Lin's visa at the last minute the night before) and our group being able to leave on Thursday, the bus driver didn't know he was to arrive that morning. He was late, so we were about 45 minutes late getting to the airport.

After a long wait for check-in where we were praying we wouldn't miss our flight, we were told by Northwest that there were no reservations for us on that day's only flight out of Guangzhou to Tokyo (then the US)! Even though we'd called the night before to reclaim the reservation we'd changed when we thought we didn't have Mei Lin's visa, there was no record of it on the computer in front of them.

I must admit panic set in and I said something to the lady like, "no, we confirmed this flight last night and we NEED to get on the flight TODAY!" They were sorry about four or five times, but there were no seats left on that plane and it had been overbooked by about 15 people already!! We quickly called the US 800 number we spoke with the night before and spoke with their adoption services who confirmed our reservations. THEY could see the reservation on the computer, but China couldn't. Hmmm. Finally we handed the lady at check-in the phone so she could speak with the US. After she finally did see the reservation we realized it didn't matter anymore anyway. Our seats had been given away and we weren't getting on that flight.

So we were sent off to another airline, China Southern. There were plenty of seats on the flight that would take us to Tokyo in time for our connecting flight to the US. Thank you, God! But first we had to get on the flight before it left and now we were waiting in another check-in line!

I was fervently praying when one of the NW employees looked over and said, "Don't worry, you'll make it," with a sweet, reassuring smile. I asked her if she saw me praying and she nodded.

She whisked us through airport security and arranged a shuttle driver to take us to our gate. We now call her our angel. At one point I looked at her and noticed her cross earrings. We thanked her a hundred times as we ran onto the plane. "God bless you!" she called back.

Just one of many wonderful experiences meeting the growing number of brave, beautiful Christian people in China. And another way God showed his provision and care for us through them.

It's amazing, isn't it...everything could have gone perfectly and I would have been able to say that God is good for taking care of us. But God's hand is never more apparent than when we face adversity and overcome! I think that's why Christianity is so strong in countries like China where there is persecution. They see God's hand in so many areas of their lives because they struggle and overcome.

Well, the rest of the day wasn't much better. Our seats on the next two connections were given away also and we had to fight for seats similar to what we paid for...and seats together. We were scattered all over the plane otherwise. Then our flight from Detroit to home was delayed 1 hr 45 min, but we made it!!

Thankfully Miyah and Megan slept almost the whole trip home. Mei Lin didn't sleep more than an hour or two the entire 20-some hour trip!



And, of course Mei Lin didn't want anyone but Pat the whole way home. Poor Pat. I tried to relieve him, but she'd just scream...and I mean scream. A long flight isn't the place to fight that, so Pat had baby duty for that long, harrowing trip. We each only got an hour or two of sleep. I'd had only two hours of sleep the night before because I stayed up packing. So, I'd now had only about 3-4 hours sleep in two days!

It was never so good to be in our own beds that night. My mom had made us a wonderful meal and we were all ready for bed soon after.

Miyah and Mei Lin are having a hard time adjusting to the time change and both of them are up in the night. I was so delirious the first night I don't even know how Miyah ended up in bed with me and Pat in the girls' room with Mei Lin...then everyone back in our bed. The girls were giggling and having a party in our bed at 3 AM.

The second night home the girls again woke in the night and had trouble falling back asleep. I took Miyah in her room and we both slept a while and then relieved Pat in our room. Mei Lin does great with me during the day, but when she's tired only daddy will do. So, she screamed in my arms for 20 minutes until she fell asleep from exhaustion. She's a prize-fighter for sure. I had to hold her tight in a cradle position because she was fighting me so hard and I held her free arm so she didn't hit me. She was MAD!! I spoke quietly and reassuringly to her which made her even madder. I don't know exactly why she rejects a mother figure for comfort, but I know it most likely has something to do with all the changes and transitions in her life. She's had several mother figures in her life and she's lost each of them...first her birthmother, then the nannies at the orphanage for 7 months and a foster mother for another 7 months. Maybe she's learned that "mommies" leave...I don't know. Or maybe she's just afraid of my big nose and blond hair!

I just grieved along with her that early morning and prayed for healing for her little spirit that has known so much pain and loss. I can't even begin to imagine all that she's been through. The good thing is that she hasn't rejected us all. When a child is in foster care or is attached to a nanny, the grieving and transition can be more difficult, but that also means that she can attach again. We'd be more concerned if she didn't show any signs of grieving.

Anyway, the next morning I was still holding her when she woke up and she whimpered a little to see my face instead of Daddy's, but then she was perfectly happy with me all morning while Pat slept. I even put her down for her nap...for the FIRST time. She usually cries for me to put her to bed and she didn't even whine when I gave her a bottle and rocked her. WOW! I guess what I did during the night was akin to "Holding Time" therapy, which never felt right to do with Miyah, but now seemed necessary to do with Mei Lin. She really needed me to just hold her through her raging at me and know that I could handle her anger and not leave her, I guess. And I'm sure the prayer helped a lot. It's going to take time and a lot of work for her to trust me and know that her new mommy is a "forever mommy".

When Pat is around she gets a little whinier and sometimes turns into "Velcro baby" where she just wants to be attached to him. I've been wearing her in the baby carrier a bit each day to help a little.

On top of all the transitions she's also cutting some molars and eye teeth. She's also getting a lot of gas...probably from all that strange food she's eating. We may need to back off the American diet with her a little. We probably all need to back off the American diet (LOL).

She also had a hard time at nap time yesterday. Pat rocked her and then ended up just sitting in her room until she stopped crying and fell asleep.

Last night Miyah slept through the night, but Mei Lin was up again. She had to be touching Pat or she'd get restless and cry. Poor Pat isn't used to all this "mothering" and he seemed to have the beginning of the flu in the middle of the night (chills and fever), so I took over. Mei Lin hardly struggled with me to comfort her and after some gas drops and teething gel she lay on my shoulder and went to sleep. We're making progress! Right now it's hard to tell if we have sleep issues or if it's the time change/jet lag or the gas and teething. We're just treating it like it's "all of the above" just to cover all the bases.

Besides all the sleeping and daddy issues, Mei Lin is doing very well. She seems happy most of the day and loves all her new toys. She happily plays by herself, but she does put her arms out to be held and seeks appropriate attention so far. She began walking unassisted a couple of days before we left China and is now cruising and walking most of the day. She does crawl a little, but not often. The crawling and moving around on the floor is slow, like she hadn't had a lot of time on the floor before.

She's also eating well and taking a bottle of formula for a little bonding time. It was a little work to get her to take a bottle at bedtime, but now she looks forward to it.

She seems to like Levi, our big golden retriever. She repeated, "doggy", when we introduced her. She didn't get too close the first couple of days, but now she'll go up to him and pat him.

She doesn't say a lot of words, so "doggy" was a bit of surprise. She calls "Ma" for Miyah and "Dada" for daddy. On the flight home, while lying in Pat's arms (of course), she looked me in the eye as I played with her and cooed "Mama" a couple of times with a little smile. We were told she was beginning to speak Chinese, but we don't understand any words if she is saying them.

She loves Pat-a-Cake, flowers and plants, sweets, taking books off of the bookshelf, taking things in and out of containers, and her bath.

Miyah is doing very well as a big sister. I think she's doing better (emotionally) at home than she was in China. She was just so excited to be home. She ran up and down the hallway at the airport when she realized she was HOME. In the Detroit airport she asked if this was her new home. Then when we landed at our airport she asked if we were going to our "new home". She's been on a few vacations, but after all those hotel rooms and airplanes, I don't think she completely understood that she was going to HER home.

Miyah sometimes wants to pretend she's a baby, but we just pretend along with her and she's over it very quickly. We're also making sure she has one-on-one time and gets a lot of snuggles. She loves snuggling and reassurance that we love her no matter what..."good times, bad times, happy and sad times, I always love you!".

Megan bounced back from all that jet lag and even woke up Friday morning and went to Bible study! Later that day she went to dance class, then woke up Saturday morning and went to ballet from 9 AM - 4 PM. She missed a lot of dance while we were gone and they're getting ready for the recital in a few weeks.

Matt was happy to see us all, but especially his sisters. He missed them a lot and spent a lot of time with Miyah the first few days home. He even volunteered to wake her up when she was sleeping too late one morning. Now the kids are back to their normal bickering-selves again. I wish they could just miss each other all the time.

Mei Lin has taken a little while to warm up to Matt, but she lets him hold her without crying and has even given him kisses.

We let Matt stay home from school on Friday, but he's back again today. It was just so nice to spend those first few days home all together. We didn't go anywhere and even had a pajama day.

My mom did some laundry and cooking for us and then left Friday afternoon. It was so great to have her here, but it was also apparent that Mei Lin was a little nervous around her. She seemed happy when it was just our family again...I remember Miyah being the same way when we first came home.

So, there's the long, boring details, warts and all. Later today I'm hoping to go back and add our journal entries for Guangzhou. It's the only way I'll remember what we did those last few days. We were so busy this trip that it was difficult to find time to do any journaling.

Well, if you've made it this far you must have nothing else to do today or you're peeling your eyelids back to stay awake, or maybe both. Thanks for hanging in there. I hope to update with pictures soon.